A peek into Meghna’s diary

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teacher

“Tell me which is that particular month which varies in days?” Mrs Khanna thundered

Trembling and with tears in her eyes the little girl Meghna couldn’t answer.

“Idiot, you have no brains, you know mugging that’s all, now you are punished, kneel down” Mrs Khanna only got louder and slapped the child.

With the entire class laughing the embarrassed Meghna kneeled and tried to recall the answer. No she can’t, she has forgotten the names of the months even. She dreaded Geography, all she knew was she is an idiot.

“You see, I do not tolerate muggers, I am very strict and chapters 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 are your homework, today is Monday and all of you should be fully prepared by Friday, and I know you class of 40 that only Sayan, Rahul, Nidhi and Pratik can do it and I have no hopes on others and you Meghna if you don’t perform on Friday I will make you kneel down on that ground for the entire school to see you.” was the final words of Mrs Khanna before leaving the class of 40.

It’s a mandate, I need to mention the standard, the students were from Standard eight and it was the first period of the first day of the week “Monday”.

I make a point Mrs Khanna had given homework, has Madam Khanna taken the classwork properly?

Did she explain the chapters which she is now dumping on those students? Or is it taken for granted that the child has to finish them at home with the parents doing their homework.  What about the punishment?  What about Meghna? What about the humiliation? Will it make her or will it break her?

While there is every right for a teacher to scold or punish the child since they are the ones the children spend the maximum time and look as their mentors but it’s equally important for that teacher to have knowledge on how to groom a child and develop the self-esteem. Mrs Khanna was doing exactly opposite and she seemed quiet satiated that she is a terror to those petrified children, a true victor to those tiny helpless kids.

Madam Khanna you deserve a whacking and you should be shown the door, well in Meghna’s case she had to tolerate Mrs Khanna till standard ten and ultimately Mrs Khanna left the school after couple of years with the children breathing a sigh of relief and all they had for Mrs Khanna were those bitter memories and the squalid adjectives she used on them. One aspect changed for sure they started loving Geography.

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” American abolitionist Frederick Douglass’s words of wisdom seem blatantly intuitive. Nevertheless, agreement on how best to build strong children is not easy to come by, despite the fact that nearly every month a new parenting book is published, promising new and shocking insights to simplify parenting forever. Rather than simplifying the process, however, it seems that each book merely adds to the mounting literature, threatening to make a parent’s task more difficult rather than less so.

Now comes punishment, it really doesn’t work for several reasons with physical punishment in particular. First, it makes the child hate himself and others. Physical punishment makes the child think that there must be something awfully wrong with him to be treated so badly. If children think they are “bad,” then they will act “bad.” A vicious cycle is formed. The child who has been treated harshly has no reason to be good. Or he may be good just to keep from being punished and not learn to be good because he thinks it is the right thing to do.

Children who have been spanked feel that they have paid for their misbehavior and are free to misbehave again. In other words, spanking frees the child from feelings of remorse which are needed to prevent future misbehavior.

Please avoid comparisons. Each child is unique; the only parameter the child can compare with is with their own selves. Didn’t Mrs. Khanna know it? Didn’t the school take a proper interview prior to appointing Mrs Khanna? She broke Meghna’s self-esteem; Meghna grew up an insecure adult in deep need of validation through opinion of others.

By contrast, people with high self-esteem are secure enough in their sense of value that they don’t need to compare themselves to others or inflate their abilities: they are more than enough, just exactly as they are.

Dear schools please rope in proper counselors, teachers, there is no harm in scolding a child, don’t we parents do to our children but do it in the right way. Do not rob their childhood so that they grow up an insecure, anti-narcissistic, timid individual. They should learn to love themselves and not to see themselves loved through validation of others.

I leave this narration for the readers to understand but with a message

“Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not being better than someone else”

Note: It’s a case study and names have been changed to protect identity

Subject to copyright

 

 


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One thought on “A peek into Meghna’s diary

  1. An interesting and informative article! Emotional abuse is an important subject that doesn’t receive as much attention as it deserves. It is often not seen as serious as other forms of abuse, because there is no immediate physical harm. But over time it can have a damaging and sometimes devastating effect on a child’s psychological development, self-esteem and behaviour. Low warmth, high criticism parenting will have a negative effect that may stay with a child forever. Teachers stinging criticisms can leave long term emotional scars. Children deserve better.

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